As a school counselor, one of our key roles is to equip students with social-emotional skills, and self-control is one of the most important! Self-control helps students navigate daily challenges like focusing in class, resolving conflicts on the playground, and managing big feelings.

Check out these 4 self-control activities you can use in counseling sessions to practically and enjoyably teach this SEL skill to your elementary students!

Understanding Self-Control

The kid-friendly definition of self-control that I use with my students is “the ability to manage your thoughts, feelings, and choices.”

Teaching self-control at an early age helps elementary students handle frustration, make thoughtful choices, maintain focus, and manage emotions and behaviors. 

Self-control includes the following:

• Self-discipline
• Impulse control
• Emotional regulation
• Goal-setting
• Attention control
• Planning and organization
• Decision-making
• Self-monitoring
• Stress management
• Adaptability

These skills are foundational for academic success and positive social interactions– and follow students beyond their school years into all of life! 

Fun fact: Research by Duckworth and Seligman in 2005 found that self-discipline is a more significant indicator of academic performance than IQ! 

Examples of Self-Control at School

Students need to practice self-control in every aspect of school life. Consider these examples as you teach this important skill to your students:

Self-Control in the Classroom

• Waiting their turn to speak during group discussions
• Raising a hand to speak instead of shouting out an answer
• Listening attentively while the teacher or another student is speaking
• Waiting their turn for a favorite book or art supply

Self-Control During Recess

• Waiting patiently for a turn on a favorite piece of playground equipment
• Resolving conflict peacefully with peers
• Choosing to share toys or playground equipment

Self- Control in the Cafeteria

• Standing in line quietly
• Following the rules for food choices
• Cleaning up their area after eating
• Raising their hand if needing help instead of getting out of their seat or yelling out

4 Self-Control Activities 

Incorporate exciting self-control activities into individual, small group, or whole group counseling sessions to help students learn and practice this skill!

1. Play Role-Playing Games

Practice self-control by role-playing during individual or small group counseling sessions. Practicing these skills in a controlled, safe environment allows students to receive immediate feedback from you and others, develop important social skills, and boost self-confidence.

Materials Needed:

• Scenario cards

How To:

1. Create scenarios students might face at home or school

Example: Edwin has been looking forward to swinging all morning, but Suzy got to the swing first at recess. What should Edwin do?

2. Put role-playing cards in a box or bag and allow students to draw a card 
3. Students practice role-playing the scenarios. They can switch roles to understand different perspectives.
4. Afterwards, provide opportunities for discussion and offer alternative strategies for maintaining self-control

Students will also practice empathy, perspective-taking, and problem-solving skills while participating in this activity!

2. Make a Self-Control Toolbox

Assist students in building self-control toolboxes to help them be prepared for challenging situations they will face in school and life in general. 

Materials Needed: 

• Shoe box or similarly sized container
• Paper
• Markers
• Glue
• Other decorative craft supplies

How to:

1. Students decorate a box or container to represent their unique sense of style and preferences.
2. Fill the box with written strategies, coping tools, and positive notes to remember past times when they have shown self-control.
   1. Include physical coping tools such as stress balls, play dough, fidget spinners, liquid timers, or squishy toys
   2. Include quarter-sized cards on a keyring to help students identify their feelings and practice coping skills
   3. Encourage students to use their toolboxes when they need help with self-control

This activity also encourages students to be creative, self-reflect, and practice resourcefulness!

3. Play this Self-Control Sorting Game

Students love practicing the difference between “In Control” and “Out-of-Control” choices with this interactive self-control sorting game!

Materials Needed:

• 24 scenarios to practice “In Control” and “Out-of-Control” choices
  • Use the digital for Google Slides^TM version on a Smart Board or projector OR
  • Use the printable version

How To:

This activity can be played in a whole group lesson, with small groups, or with individual students. Students take turns choosing a scenario card, reading it aloud to their group, and deciding whether it represents an “In Control” or “Out-of-Control” behavior. Then, students place the card on that side of the mat (or, if using the digital version, drag the pink checkmark to the appropriate box).

With this ASCA-aligned resource, students also learn 18 important tips for self-control. You can utilize the included instructional posters, worksheets, and coloring pages to expand your self-control unit, too!

4. Play the FREEZE Game

Next, get your students moving! Help them practice self-control while playing a super fun game of FREEZE! 

Your students will work on paying careful attention and controlling their impulses as they participate in this classic self-control activity. 

Materials Needed:

• Music
• An open space 

How To:

1. Play music and encourage your students to dance or move around. 
2. Stop the music at random times, prompting students to freeze in place.
3. Discuss how paying attention and stopping their movements requires self-control.

Open the floor for discussion after playing this game to encourage students to reflect on ways they successfully practiced self-control or ways they can improve their efforts. 

Your students will want to play this game again and again!

Books About Self-Control

Don’t forget the benefits of incorporating storybooks when teaching students social-emotional learning skills. Relatable characters, illustrations, and scenarios help young students connect to otherwise difficult-to-understand topics. 

These children’s books about self-control are a great choice to add to your self-control planning! 

By incorporating self-control activities into your counseling sessions, you can effectively teach this important SEL skill to students. Be confident that you are helping them develop important social-emotional skills they need to succeed in school and life! 

You might also be interested in:

• 6 MUST-HAVE Books that Teach Self-Control for School Counselors 
• 4 Easy Steps to Teach Students How to Apologize
• How to Teach Students the Difference Between Bullying and Conflict