Problems between friends and classmates happen all the time, and it’s hard for young children to know when a problem is bullying or just a conflict. The most current research finds that approximately one in five school-aged children are victimized by bullying. Helping students understand the difference between bullying and conflict can decrease incidents over time and increase positive social interactions at school!
The Difference Between Bullying & Conflict
Conflict Explained
A conflict happens when two or more people have a disagreement. It is usually centered around a difference in point of view between peers. Feelings of anger and frustration are often associated with conflicts.
Conflicts are an expected, normal part of life. In a conflict, everyone has equal power and wants to find a solution.
Examples of Conflict
- Aaliyah, Alia, and Samson keep arguing about the topic for their science group project
- Jorge grabbed the last available ball during free play in P.E.
- Harrison and Joseph blame each other for missing the touchdown
Bullying Explained
Bullying is a hurtful choice that is done on purpose, happens over and over again, and is one-sided. It is unexpected and should never be a normal part of friendships.
Bullying is usually associated with wanting control or attention; one person has more power and often does not want to figure out a resolution.
Bullying comes in different forms, but all have the same root of causing harm to another person to get their way.
4 Types of Bullying
- Cyberbullying
- Physical Bullying
- Verbal Bullying
- Social Bullying
Cyberbullying
Cyberbullying involves using technology to harm others. It happens through social media, apps, texts, and chats.
Physical Bullying
Physical bullying is when a person uses his or her body to harm others. Hitting, kicking, punching, pinching, and pushing are all examples of this.
Verbal Bullying
Using one’s words to harm others is verbal bullying. Name-calling, put-downs, or threats are all types of verbal bullying.
Social Bullying
Social bullying is using friendships to harm others. It can be through gossiping, spreading rumors, or excluding others for no other reason than malicious intent.
Bullying Examples
- Every morning when Jose enters the classroom, Kalen pushes him into the cubbies and the other students laugh
- Zaid is scared to speak in class because Brayden mimics him every day
- Every day in science, Allie takes Ian’s papers and throws them on the floor
Bullying can lead to feelings of depression, anxiety, rejection, isolation, and exclusion. Sometimes, these emotions can play a role in suicidal ideation.
Bullying Statistics
The National Center for Educational Statistics reported the following data in 2019:
- Male students are 50% more likely to experience physical bullying than females.
- Female students are 50% more likely to experience relational aggression (social bullying involving exclusion, spreading rumors, gossiping) than males.
- Students report getting bullied in a variety of locations at school, including but not limited to the hallway, inside classrooms, the cafeteria, in bathrooms or locker rooms, and on the bus. Bullying is most likely to happen in places with limited adult supervision.
- Over 41% of students who have been bullied once believe they will be bullied again.
- According to the UNESCO Institute of Statistics (2018), immigrant children are more likely be bullied than locally-born children. Low socioeconomic status also increases the likelihood of a child being bullied.
Interventions
The goal of intervention is to empower students to solve conflicts themselves (and give them the tools to do so), and educate them on how to identify, stop, and report bullying.
Bullying vs. Conflict Lesson
Use resources like this Bullying or Conflict Lesson to teach the differences between bullying and conflict. The interactive activities in this resource (especially the sorting game) offer practical scenarios to help students understand bullying vs. conflict. They also teach students how to peacefully resolve conflicts and safely and effectively intervene in bullying situations.
Strategies to Use
As educators, it can be difficult to know how and when to intervene with problems between peers. Teach specific strategies to students so that they can confidently know what to do when experiencing a conflict or bullying.
How to Resolve Conflicts
- Conflicts usually result in “you-messages”– aka the blame game! Teach students to use I-messages to solve problems peacefully.
- Encourage students to work together to find a solution or compromise.
- Use coping skills to stay calm when emotions are running high.
- Teach students to listen to understand others’ perspectives and not blame others immediately.
If none of these strategies work, students should ask a trusted adult for help!
How to Stop Bullying
Make it clear to your students that they need to report bullying to an adult right away! Reporting bullying does not make them a “tattletale” or a “snitch.”
Encourage students to be bold and be an upstander by standing up for each other (only when it won’t result in more harm to anyone).
If a student experiences bullying, they should walk away and immediately find a safe friend or adult.
Teaching students to identify the difference between bullying and conflict is a critical part of positive social-emotional well-being in the classroom.
I hope that this blog post offered information, ideas, and resources that you can put into practice to support your students with bullying and conflict!
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