“Mrs. O, he skipped me in line!” “Mrs. O, she won’t share the purple crayon!”
Sound familiar? I thought so! Teaching students to be peaceful problem-solvers who can confidently address issues themselves (rather than turning to a teacher, ugh tattletaling!) is SO. VERY. CRUCIAL! To empower students to solve small problems, use a two-step process: first, teach them about size of the problem (the difference between small problems and big problems). Then, teach students how to use an I-Message to solve small problems themselves.
Let’s dive into part 1 of that 2-part equation now — size of the problem!
Your Role as an Elementary School Counselor
School counselors play a pivotal role in fostering a positive and safe learning environment at school. You’re not just there to support students when conflicts arise, but also to proactively teach them important life skills, like peaceful problem-solving.
Whole-class lessons are great opportunities to teach these types of skills.
Teaching peaceful problem-solving can feel a little overwhelming in a classroom (or school!) full of kids who naturally love to bicker and tattletale. Take a deep breath and remind yourself that you’re ready for this!
Teach Size of the Problem
First thing first, start with the basics! Make sure your students are clear on the difference between small and big problems.
Small Problems
Everyday, little, no-big-deal issues are small problems. They are things that bug and annoy us.
Examples of small problems include:
- Skipping in line
- Taking too long at the water fountain
- Not taking turns on the playground at recess
Although these conflicts do frustrate and upset us, they are small enough that students are capable of solving them without help from a grown-up.
Big Problems
A big problem, on the other hand, is an issue that’s scary, dangerous, or unsafe.
Examples of big problems include:
- Pushing or shoving others
- A stranger at the playground at recess
- Bullying
These issues are serious and threaten our safety, so students need a grown-up’s help to solve them and stay safe.
Make sure your students (and teachers) clearly understand your school’s reporting procedures for big problems.
Help Students Understand Size of the Problem
Use resources and books to help your students understand problem-solving through the lens of small and big problems.
Resources
Use real-world scenarios to help students master the difference between small problems and big problems– & lots of them!
This size of the problem sorting game is the perfect exercise to do just that! In this activity, students take turns choosing a scenario card and reading it aloud to the class. Then, they sort the card into the “small problems” bag or “big problems” bag.
Simple activities like this can be so helpful for reinforcing knowledge and checking for student understanding! And, they are so interactive (and fun!) that they really engage students!
Setting up a calm corner is another great option for promoting independence in solving small problems.
Books
Choose age-appropriate children’s books to reinforce learning. These books are wonderful options to help students consider different ways to problem-solve and see conflict resolution in action.
I love it when books really get kids thinking! (Amazon Affiliate Links)
“Cat & Bunny” by Mary Lundquist
This book is about an unlikely friendship between a cat and a bunny. It’s the perfect introduction to problem-solving for young children. They learn the value of being kind and how to solve everyday problems with inclusion and friendship in mind.
“The Boy and the Airplane” by Mark Pett
This wordless book demonstrates a big problem: a boy loses his airplane and misses it terribly. The pictures in this book help children know that it’s good to ask for help when you have a big problem. It’s a great option to use as you explain the differences between small problems and big problems. You can promote further discussion by encouraging children to consider how they would solve a similar problem, too.
“Beautiful Oops!” by Barney Saltzbery
In this colorful book, children learn that mistakes can lead to unexpected opportunities. They are encouraged to embrace small problems and turn them into positive situations. This book beautifully displays a growth mindset while highlighting problem-solving skills.
“The Problem with Problems” by Rachel Rooney
This poetic book allows children to consider creative solutions for several different types of problems. By approaching life with an open mind, children can become peaceful problem-solvers!
“The Most Magnificent Thing” by Ashley Spires
In this story, a little girl sets out to create the most magnificent thing. Along the way, she encounters lots of obstacles. This book teaches children the importance of perseverance when working on a project. Even when things don’t go as planned, you can achieve your goals with determination and a problem-solving mindset!
“What Do You Do with a Problem?” by Kobi Yamada
In this book, a little boy deals with a persistent problem. The longer he tries to avoid the problem, the bigger it gets. When he decides to face the problem, he learns that there are great opportunities here to learn and grow. This book is a great reminder that resilience and a positive attitude can take you far in life, no matter the size of the problem you face.
As an elementary school counselor, your commitment to teaching peaceful problem-solving will not only set up students for a better school year but for a more harmonious life! Teaching the size of the problem is a crucial first step, but there’s more…
Don’t forget to check out part 2 of the Peaceful Problem-Solving series where we dive head-first into everything about I-Messages!
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